I Never Told You
by Spanish Sunrise
Summary: She missed those blue eyes, the warmth of that smile. She never told him how she felt, that she loved him; and when she finally did it was too late. JackxChloexRenee One-shot.


**I'm not proud of this at all. This was me having a cheesy-romance-tradgedy-Shakespeare-Wuthering Heights-moment. Plus a song stuck in my head. Read if you dare... :D**

Jack had been in the hospital for quiet some time, Chloe knew that. After his latest save-the-world mission in Afghanistan, he returned bleeding to death. Chloe did not know how Jack could possibly survive something like that, but he was strong. It stabbed Chloe to the core when she saw him on that scratchy hospital sheet, his crimson blood soaking the linen, the pain that contorted his beautiful face made Chloe hate herself. She hated herself because she was not there to do any thing about it. Those beautiful eyes that gazed at her with gratitude for finding him, those blue eyes that were deeper and stormier than the very ocean that used to be separating them. Thank God he survived.

Chloe knew that he was coming back to work today, that was why she could be found shuffling around in his office, lining up the paper straightly against the sharp edge of his futuristic, metal desk, so that not a single page was out of line. She ran the sleeve of her grey dress-shirt over the wireless keyboard, making sure there was not a single speck of dust resting on its black surface. She even punched the two small pillows on his couch to make them look plumper. The last thing she did was pour bitter, black coffee into his favorite black mug, just how he likes it, and placed it lovingly by his wireless computer mouse on the corner of his desk.

_I miss those blue eyes  
_  
_How you kiss me at night  
_  
_I miss the way we sleep_

Perfecting and detailing his desk, she took a step back for a better look at what she accomplished. Chloe cocks her head and smiles, a satisfied grin gracing her face. Crossing her arms over her chest, she takes a step back and sinks into Jack's grey couch, toying with one of the tiny, metallic buttons on her glossy silver blouse. Her eyes scan across the room, memories of its occupant flooding her mind. She can't stop grinning, she'll see him today. Chloe sighed happily, slumping deeper into the hard, retro style couch, which was uncomfortable to anyone who ever sat on it, but whenever she sat on it with _Jack_, whether they were decoding encrypted files, or simply discussing the latest news about his pretty daughter, Kimberley, it felt like silk stuffed with goose feathers.

It's been weeks and weeks since she had last seen Jack, with each passing day when he wasn't at work, Chloe felt the same feeling. Her chest contracted and she suffocated. It was all emotional, of course, but sometimes it was so intense, that Chloe could have sworn that she felt it physically. But not today. Today, Jack would restore that precious oxygen that only _he_ could give.

_Like there's no sunrise  
_  
_Like the taste of your smile  
_  
_I miss the way we breathe_

What was that? Chloe pushes off of Jack's 'soft' IKEA couch, and approaches one of the glass walls of his office, one that is overlooking the main floor of cubicles. Her thin fingers slide between the white, bendy panels of his blinds, prying them expertly apart. Chloe peered through the small sight with her even hazel eyes. At first, she sees nothing, but as her eyes scan the area further out, they land on a small group forming.

That's when she can't breathe again.

But it was not the usual, painful suffocation, it was different, almost soothing. It's when she sees _him_, she feels at ease, home again. She bites her lip and closes her eyes, only to open them quickly to avoid loosing sight of him for even a second. His perfection amazes her, never in her life had she seen something so beautiful.

Jack is serious, as usual, with only a hint of a smile in his eyes as he talks to several of their coworkers; but it awes her, and for a moment...she can't move. Her memory did not do him justice. She missed everything about this beautiful, uncomparible creature. No man could ever stand in his light, or his shadow. Chloe never knew such perfection existed until she met him.

As if reflex, Chloe's feet dash to the frosted glass door of his office, accidentally _pushing_ it instead of _pulling_in her haste to get it open. Finally, the great barrier is removed and her path to the stairs is clear again. She all but flies down them, the heals of her shoes making soft clicking sounds on the metal coverings as she takes on the steps two at a time, her eyes locked on his blonde halo.

_But I never told you  
_  
_What I should have said  
_  
_No, I never told you  
_  
_I just held it in_

Just several yards. Several more short yet painful yards and she would be in his circle of light. So near and yet so far. She forced herself to walk towards him slowly, her eyes catching every detail of his appearance. The soft, tousled blonde hair that shown gold when it caught the fluorescence lighting. The wise, deep blue eyes that instantly transferred her to some sunny beach in Spain or Greece. His powerful body, not a single ounce of unnecessary fat on any of his limbs. His chiseled features, strong cheek bones and straight, noble nose. Chloe knew that she could never stand next to him as his soul mate, but at least she was his best friend.

She wondered if it was her imagination as the tiny crowd consisting of several people disperesed around him.

Then he saw her.

His intense, blue-green eyes locking on her own hazel ones. She couldn't break his gaze even if her life depended on it. Three words were on her lips, three words that she was forbidden to say. Her heart beat faster, louder, and her mind was screaming as he took a step towards her. He had a soft, tired smile painted on his lips, and their was a glow in his eyes.

Could it be?

_And now,  
_  
_I miss everything about you  
_  
_Can't believe that I still want you  
_  
_And after all the things we've been through  
_  
_I miss everything about you  
_  
_Without you_

Time seemed to stop, everything went in slow motion, as the two best friends drifted impatiently towards each other, cutting of the long-time distance between them with each step they took. Their footsteps were paced to the rhythmic beating of their hearts, and to Chloe, a more perfect moment was inconceivable.

He smiled a little wider, making it more evident and obvious on his face. She grinned in return, breathing deeply, basking in his light. Just a few more yards, she repeated; and yet she still had to force every ounce of self-control to keep her feet from breaking into a full-out sprint and closing the distance between them. It looked like Jack had the same intentions.

_I see your blue eyes  
_  
_Every time I close mine  
_  
_You make it hard to see  
_  
_Where I belong to  
_  
_When I'm not around you  
_  
_It's like I'm alone with me_

A flash of red hair. Chloe notices from the corner of her expressive eyes. She stops abruptly as Renee, the red-haired beauty rushes past her and into Jack's arms. Chloe's smile vanishes, leaving only a broken ghost of it behind. She feels abandoned, deserted, useless, and humiliated. Her face reddens as she realizes her stupid mistake.

How could she have thought Jack was looking at _her_? That that glowing smile was meant for _her_? Where did she get the brilliant idea that he was aiming for _her_? The weight of pain and embarrassment was nearly unbearable. She struggled not to collapse as she forced herself to turn around slowly, and fix an artificial expression on her face that would not give her away.

The glow in her eyes faded as she watched Jack and Renee. His arms were wrapped tightly around Renee's curvy, petite form. His nose was in her bright red flames, breathing her in, stroking the length of it as it cascaded down to her shoulders. Chloe bit her lips and tugged on her usual dirty blonde pony tail, her eyes stinging as if she had been staring at an onion. She turns to leave, unaware of the way he stared at her over Renee's shoulder.

_But I never told you  
_  
_What I should have said  
_  
_No, I never told you  
_  
_I just held it in_

Chloe refuses to watch any more. She doesn't have to take this...this..._stabbing_ sensation in her stomach anymore. There used to be a huge knot there when Jack wasn't there, but now it was replaced by a huge hole, like someone blew a cannon ball aimed right through her body. She hated that raw feeling that was left behind there. In her excitement and impatience to see Jack, she almost forgot that Renee existed, and she already owned his heart.

Who did she think she was? To stand in his halo of light? That spot was already occupied by a more exotic, stronger human being. Chloe did not consider herself as a weakling, but Jack was the only one who had enough of her to break her heart. Chloe went to get herself a cup of coffee, working the much-abused office coffee machine. She felt a little sorry for it. It was in as just a bad shape as she was. That was when she came to a conclusion.

Who did Jack think he was?

Twisting and breaking her heart in two? What was so special about him that she had to be so madly, deeply in love with him? Those restless sapphire eyes that seemed to pierce her very soul. She was an independent woman, and this was totally out of character for her. Chloe sighed, shaking her head and taking a sip of her coffee. Who was she kidding? Trying to talk herself out of him. It wasn't that easy.

_And now,_

_I miss everything about you_

_Can't believe that I still want you_

_And after all the things we've been through_

_I miss everything about you_

_Without you_

Chloe felt like a fool, standing in front of the door of his office, half an hour later. But there was no going back now. It was too late, besides, as cheesy as it sounded, her heart wouldn't allow her to. She clutched a manila file-folder tightly in her clammy hands, an excuse for going up to his office by offering him updates on CTU. Chloe knew that Jack being Jack would see right through it.

She wasn't sure exactly what she would tell him. She knew the outline of it. She would tell him how she felt, which was hard for her to do, she was not a very social, articulate person. But how could she be? She knew that this was all her fault. She had loved him for years, but she never told him. She was too scared, and now it's too late. He had Renee.

Chloe took a deep breath. She knew he wouldn't reciprocate, but she would tell him anyway, and then she would leave CTU because of it. She would spill all over her pitiful guts to him. She would let him know how broken she was when he was gone, how she missed his blue eyes, full of age-old wisdom and unearthly beauty. That rare, exquisite smile that brightened up her day, _always_. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and knocked.

_But I never told you  
_  
_What I should have said  
_  
_No, I never told you_  
_  
I just held it in_

"Jack-I-know-that-you-could-never-possibly-feel-the-same-about-me-and-I-know-I-shouldn't-be-doing-this-but-I'm-in-love-with-you-and-I-only-live-without-you-because-I-have-to-here's-your-file-I-have-to-go." That didn't go as smoothly as Chloe had hoped. She blurted her heart out to him and now she felt like a blundering idiot. She was a fool. Her eyes were still closed, refusing to look at him. She turned around and went to head back downstairs, but his hand lashed out and clasped onto her wrist in an iron grip, like a handcuff.

She was pulled in to his office and he slammed the door shut. He pinned her against the wall; wordlessly, she opened her eyes, taking her sweet time. His blazing perfection stared back at her. She felt scared and overwhelmed. His bottomless blue eyes, as vast as the sky and depth-less as the ocean, held the same look that he had when he was torturing...er..._interrogating_ suspect terrorists.

But his lips held a smile.

It wasn't an 'I-love-you-back' smile, it was more of a 'what a sweet thought' smile. She just soaked in the moment. She knew perfectly well that she was too late. It was her own fault for being so stupid. Now that she finally told him, he had someone else to give his love to. He still had her against the wall, with the way he towered over her, his face inches from her own, it made her feel ridiculous and vulnerable. He made it hard to breathe, both physically and mentally. Her mind kept screaming at her that this was all her fault, that she never told him earlier.

_And now,  
_  
_I miss everything about you  
_  
_Can't believe that I still want you  
_  
_And after all the things we've been through_  
_  
I miss everything about you_  
_  
Without you_

After eons of waiting, staring breathlessly at each other, his liquid, intoxicating voice finally slipped past his lips."Chloe." He murmured.

She stared, here comes the moment where he brushes her off.

"You're my best friend." He continued, truthfully."You really do mean the world to me, but..."

Ah yes, the infamous 'but.' She knew his next words. They were: ...but I love Renee, not you, sorry. She couldn't bear to hear it. No, she'd beat him to it. She sidestepped him, and opened his door."I'm sorry Jack." She swallowed hard, lifting her chin and throwing her shoulders back, trying to appear nonchallant."This...this was a mistake."

She opened the door and left.

Jack stood silently, alone. She killed him. He had been beaten, shot, and stabbed, but this hurt more than all of them combined together. When she told him her 'feelings' just now, he did not realize that anything on this earth could make him this happy anymore. But he was wrong, it didn't exist, she said it was a mistake. He knew it was his fault too.

She never looked at him as more than an employer, as a friend. He tried to love Renee, hoping to get his mind off of Chloe, but he felt empty, not the same as when he was with _her_. He was going to to tell her that he loved her more than..._life_. She was gone. He knew it. He should have said it earlier, and now, it was too little too late. Because he never told her...

**Thanks! Hate it? (For some reason love it?) Nah, I won't push my luck. :) **

**Review, pretty pretty please. :)**


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